There’s some level of comfort we still have with each other, and lately, I feel everything almost reverting back to how it once was. I’m unsure of how I want to react to it. My heart jumps with happiness, a warm glow overcomes it. It thinks, “Could this mean he’s still wanting to be with me?” My head is a little bit more stubborn. “There is comfort in what we know, and what we knew,” it reminds me. “Anything could happen, but separation might be best for now.”
I take a step back. Anything is possible. We’ve loved each other for so long, him a bit longer than me. Of course, the decision is hard on the heart and the entire body, but I think he really wants this. He needs this. This is necessary in order for him to learn and to grow and to see where his heart truly lies.
I believe he’ll understand that no one will ever give him her heart as much as I have. He will avoid the extra baggage, but sometimes you need to work with the baggage and learn to use it to decorate the home in your heart in order to love fully.
I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists.
One where my heart is full and my soul understood.
My mood today is good.
I don’t think I’ve had a bad thought at all today, and that is a good thing. A great thing. An awesome thing.
I hope tomorrow will be the same.